Q&A with Esmé Ross - August 2026

https://youtu.be/voVadTRKl68

Helpful Notes & Summary from Esmé:

How to handle when your toddler who can’t talk responds with tantrums and throws themselves backward out of your arms or onto the ground when they don’t get what they want.

1. Break cycle – hold firmly in your arms – using cold cloth on forehead and neck.  NO – not acceptable behavior.

2. Show disapproval without negative behavior.  Splash water.

3. Look into face and firm but no shouting, no anger, but let child know “NO” IN A WAY THAT THEY UNDERSTAND.  May consider holding child and singing to them also. 

Thoughts on little boy roughhousing and rough play?  My son is 4.5 and has a lot of energy and likes to rough play. How to handle roughhouse play between young boys?

1. Call them, hold them, look at me, express disapproval.  That is not kind, or nice, the way we play.  Other person does not like.

2. If not supportive then must play by self.  OR let them run around by themself to expand energy.

3. EG White and son, Willy run next to horse and cart on the way to church.

4. Principle: Golden rule, do to others what you want to be done to you.

5. You may need to use your child's senses to feel what it is like to roughhouse when others don't like it.   A meaningful shove may help to draw negative attention to the way the other person experience.

How to handle silly kids. They do goofy things and I can’t find that balance of being silly with them and connecting but also making sure they aren’t developing an attitude of acting foolishly. Are there any ways to determine what that line is?

1. If they do it once fine…. but more than that put a halt on.

2. Sometimes it is also to get attention, even though it is being asked for in a negative way.

3. Being firm teaches them that what you say you mean and hold them to that principle.

4. Divert by doing something else.

With an almost 5 year old and now a baby too, how to navigate the baby's life..? Right now it feels like our days are mostly revolving around the older child's life still and the baby just kinda has to go along for the ride with no real structure or routine. Is this ok? It works for us most of the time, but I'm just wondering thoughts on this.

1. A child coming into a home needs to fit into a home environment, home not focused on child alone.

2. Purposeful attention to both children.  Be intentional with one on one time.

3. Help to direct older child to be a caring sibling.

4. Structure and routine gives security to all in the home.

5. Remember the age gap needs to be considered.

 We have a lot of family with different values than we do, and I often worry about the influence on our children. Is it ever necessary or acceptable to separate yourself from family or decline attending family get together to protect your children? How would you handle that when your family asks questions? For example TV usage or usage of alcohol.

1. Spiritual value must come first in your home.

2. When visiting family consider alternative days of visiting eg. Sabbaths

3. Talk to your children about the different values that your family holds re. alcohol or TV watching.

4. Do not discipline children in front of others, call quietly and speak to them.

5. Remove your family from the situation after short while.

6. Your family are watching you and your whole family structure.  Let it be clearly governed by love and principle.

How would you handle celebrating your child's birthday on Sabbath and what are some ways we can celebrate their birthdays on the Sabbath that align with keeping the Lord's day holy? And how can I help my kids not feel left out when they can't attend their friends' Saturday birthday parties?

1. Friday evening Sabbath opening celebrate.  Special meal, open presents.

2. Sabbath afternoon celebrate birthday by sharing baby stories, show pics, videos, go past hospital.

3. Plan a picnic or special lunch or desert.

4. Visit hospital, ask for new birth and give flower/card to new born same day ---special.

5. Plan big party on Sunday with other activities.

6. Let friend know that you have other prior activities but make a point of giving gift on Sunday.

7. Make sure your child’s Sabbath is special.  Create activities that they have input.

How would you navigate observing the sabbath in the home if both parents observe sabbath differently and have different upbringings and convictions surrounding sabbath observance? For example, if one parent is ok with having the TV on and the other is not. How do you keep unity and peace with your spouse even in disagreements regarding sabbath observance?

1. Parents need to sit down and discuss what role model do they want to show for their children and their future.

2. Discuss what the purpose for Sabbath is, Holy(putting away mundane chores) , building relationships within the family,  bring unity and closeness in the family unit.

3. Never disagree in front of the children.  

4. Have the children give input on what they would like to do on a Sabbath, that is if the church does not have something such as pathfinders etc.

5. Pray much in secret and ask spouse to pray with you for the benefit of giving the children the best Sabbath experience you possibly can.

6. Preplanned Sabbath activities during the week as you may need to have supplies for making special activities.

7. Let your decision be founded on the Word and not because you say so.  Avoid the scenario of Mom and Dad clashing on ideas but rather let the Word be your spring board and platform.